Never have I ever felt so old.

Why? Let’s put it this way: they were referring to the article that I wrote for the undergrad law journal in past tense. Not just any past tense, but the past tense in the “oh, man, that was such a long time ago and you’re a part of that ‘history’ ” past tense. I felt like one of those, for better or worse, trailblazers that explored the American west. On the one hand, I felt really honored to be, for a lack of a better word, revered in that manner. On the other hand, it’s kind of a reminder of just exactly how long ago undergrad was and how much time has really passed. To a certain extent, I feel like the old grizzled veteran that’s seen everything, but then I realize that I’m only 24 (going on 25) years old.

Wonderful, isn’t it?

Of course, those responses are often unpopular and result in broad declarations that I’ve “crossed to the dark side.” I’ve learned quickly that people don’t want the “right” answer so much as they want the “truthy” answer. I don’t mean to wax cynical, but people don’t want to hear a long and complex explanation from a glorified janitor about what rights pedophile child axe murdering tax cheats are guaranteed under the Constitution.

No, my interactions with people as a not-really-a-lawyer has only served to bolster my opinion that the American people, generally speaking, are hypocrites when it comes to lawyers. People tend to think of lawyers as morally bankrupt experts that do nothing but take advantage of the system that they are supposed to serve. To a certain extent, the general perception is true. There are some lawyers out there that take advantage of the situation, but most do not. Most lawyers actually make the system work by doing what they do best: be lawyers. I think my professional responsibility text book stated it best: people tend to think lawyers are too aggressive, but when their own skin is on the line, people would prefer to have a shark. People want the aggressive shark representing their side.

So what was the point of all of this? The point of all of this is that lawyer’s aren’t morally bankrupt. Generally, lawyers only do what their clients tell them to do. To a degree, Lawyers are a reflection of the darker, colder side of America.

I think a lot of people find that unsettling.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Orange County. It’s my hometown. I was born and raised there. Maybe after spending the majority of my life with some kind of educational institution tying me down to one place, wanderlust has finally kicked in. Maybe that’s it. I think right now, I just need to get out. I want to see Europe. I want to Asia. I maybe want to see Africa. I’m still a little ambivalent about going to Africa.

On the other hand, maybe I’m just dreading the coming difficult second year of law school. I don’t think I’m ready to dance the dance yet.